if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize