With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Two words: nipple clamps
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