That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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