Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's blow job season.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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