A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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