Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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