He disabled his match.com account in front of me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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