haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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