Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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