piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize