i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
