Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
