Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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