how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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