Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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