i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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