dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
