She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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