dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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