On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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