"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
