In America we eat man semen.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
