my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
if only i could text you this smell
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
false alarm, still single
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