You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
