she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
