We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
