well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
