We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
COCAINE IS GR8
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
