did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
