I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
