I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
