it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize