she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
