Pappa wants mamma naked
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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