I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
