YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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