yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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