she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
