That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
vagina is talking i cant
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
