Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
