it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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