He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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