I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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