Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize