who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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