hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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