You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
