Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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