To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
