You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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