Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
