Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
