I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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