It's Friday. Sex?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
