We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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