D3 body, D1 cock
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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