You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
