I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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