but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
