Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I got inside last night via doggy door
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
