You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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