Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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