I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
don't judge my taste in strippers
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
