I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
