is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
